Category Archives: Funny Stuff

Fun with Time-Lapse

Folks, if you know Greg you know it was only a matter of time until he took the Chick Cam and made a time-lapse movie of all the images we’ve collected from the web cam.

So here is a very small portion of what we have:

Fun with a Car Dealer; or, How I Spent My Wednesday Afternoon.

A couple of weeks ago Greg and I went truck shopping. After having trouble getting a certain dealer to call us back (though we basically walked in and said, “Hi, we want to buy a truck as soon as possible. Will you sell it to us?”), I sent an e-mail blast to every Dodge dealer in a 45-mile radius, describing exactly what we wanted, and asking for a quote.

We got about ten responses, and ended up working out a deal with a dealership that gave us the best deal. No big surprise, right?

But one of the other dealerships sent me this:

Michelle,

We just wanted to make sure your on-line vehicle request is being handled to your satisfaction. I would consider it a personal favor if you would reply to this email and let me know if there is anything we can do to provide you with better service.

How are we doing?

Did we provide the information you needed?

What would you like us to do to make your experience better?

Best regards,

Travis.

I responded almost immediately with:

Travis,

I certainly appreciate  your help. We ordered a Ram through South County Dodge on Saturday. Sorry.

Michelle

And then he came back with:

Michelle,

Thanks for letting me know. I am however disappointed to hear that you pulled the trigger and didn’t let me see if I could beat their deal.

Thanks,

Travis

Do you ever have one of those days when you’re a little cranky because you’ve been corralling children and fighting to get the young one to clean his room and trying to teach the older one how to bake cookies, and something like this just RUBS YOU THE WRONG WAY?

Yeah, me too.

So here’s what I’ve sent Travis:

Dear Travis –

I understand you’re disappointed. Once when I was a kid I thought I would see if my tongue would really stick to metal when it was freezing, just like Flick in “A Christmas Story.” I chose to do it myself – did it without issue of the triple-dog-dare, in fact. I was very disappointed to find the stories were true. As it turns out, the movie’s creators failed to issue a warning that children shouldn’t try those stunts at home.

Anyway, back on point, we had so many responses from dealers we simply could not make a decision. My husband and I, after 7 or 8 tequila shots, realized we had but one option. We posted each e-mail quote from dealers on the wall and commenced a dart-throwing to decide who would get our business. As it turns out, neither my husband nor I can hold our tequila, so our aim was off. I am sure if we had been sober, you would have been the winner. As it stands, we are now replacing 3 sheets of drywall and a cat.

I’m sure you understand.

Michelle

Should be interesting to see his response.

If I don’t get back here before the holiday, Merry Christmas or Happy Festivus or whatever you celebrate or don’t celebrate or whatever.

That Elliptical Machine…

…actually weighs 500 pounds. Just looked it up. Kinda wish I’d looked it up before we tried to get it out of the bed of the truck.

Heh.

Though I am temporarily unable to take advantage of it, at least someone else has found a use for it:

Lou on the elliptical

Also, see the ratcheting strap holding the machine stationary? That has become necessary because Ethan WILL NOT STAY OFF THE THING.

Early Preparation for the Teen Years.

“Hey Ethan, please come pick up your shoes and put them away.”

“Whatever.”

“What? Don’t say ‘whatever’ to your mother when she asks you to do something.”

“Oh. Sorry. I meant to say ‘sure.’ It just came out the wrong way.”

“Uh-huh, yeah. Well, maybe you should think a little harder before you speak so you the wrong thing doesn’t come out of your mouth.”

“Whatever.”

Your What?!

After Laurel managed to lose her lunchbox, several pencils, and at least one assignment in the first two weeks of school, we sat down at the table for dinner and this is what happened:

Greg: “Soooooo, Laurel, what did you lose today?”

Laurel: “My reputation.”

A Common Scene from My Everyday Life.

(at the fabric-cutting counter)

“Mom, mom, can I ring the bell?”

“Yes, you may. But ONLY ONCE.”

[ding!]

“Mom, can I ring it again? Huh? Can I? Please?”

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s rude to ring the bell repeatedly, and see, the lady is on her way over here.”

Fabric Lady:  “Ma’am, may I help you?”

“Yes, I need…let’s see…4 1/8 yards of this…”

[ding!]

“…and 3/8 yard of this.”

[dingding!]

“Ethan, don’t do that anymore.”

[ding! dingdingding!]

“Ethan! I said STOP IT. Why do you keep doing that after I tell you to quit?!”

“Sorry, Mom. That’s just the way I am. heh.”

We All Have Our Reasons.

Last night’s conversation included this little gem:

Michelle, puzzled: “Ethan, why are you wearing your sandals? We’re not going anywhere.”

Ethan, matter-of-fact: “Because I want to. And it’s Wednesday.”

Of course.

On Church Signs.

We don’t attend church, but the signs sure are fun.

Today we were driving home and our conversation went something like this:

Me: “Now that was a really good church sign.”

Laurel: “What did it say?”

Me: “It said, ‘Remember the little things. Someday when you look back they may be the big things.’”

Laurel: “Hmm. That’s smart.”

Ethan: “Yep! K-Mart Smart!”

Think we might be taking TV a bit too seriously around here?

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Also, it seems I neglected posting this photo here – so here is a sign from another church just down the road from us.

church sign

That satin’s a son of a bitch.