Monthly Archives: July 2014

Balloon Chasers.

So it’s like this. I’m sitting at my computer. Ethan has Zeus out for a pit stop. I hear Zeus barking like a crazed fool and Ethan is vocalizing….something. I can’t tell what it is, but it sounds Very Exciting. If you are the parent of an 8-year-old boy, you recognize “Very Exciting” as a euphemism for “Trouble.” So I headed out.

“Mom! Mom! Look! There’s a hot air balloon! Zeus was barking at them and they are so low they yelled hi to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

(Note the number of exclamation points – that’s the best way for me to convey his excitement.)

“WELL,” I said, “Get the dog in. LAUREL! LAUREL! LAUREL! COME GET THE DOG! WE ARE GOING ON A HOT AIR BALLOON CHASE!”

[Commence total freakout which ended up with Laurel asking if she were invited, me telling her she WAS, Ethan and me waiting in the truck until I yelled, “LAUREL COME ON, COME ON!!!” and Laurel telling me she didn’t want to go after all.]

We left the dogs with Laurel and off we went.

So yeah….if you saw a big truck flying through the back roads of our town at about 20 over the limit, it was NOT US. NOT US. NOT US.

Side story: Our neighbor is a balloon pilot. His rig was in the drive when we left but by the time we got where we were going he was right behind us. Might have had something to do with the SMALL amount of gravel I threw in the yard as I thrust the truck into gear and took off on the road. Anyway, Ethan was all, “MOM! IT IS BILL! IT IS BILL!”

We really thought the balloon was just about to land. My plan was to be all, “YO, my son is in the aerospace 4H project and please oh PLEASE, this is so cool, can he look at your balloon???” Or at least offer some assistance in some form. Like, transportation. Or something.

Alas, it was not to be. Right about the time we screeched to a halt at the top of a hill where our friend S lives with the hastily and incompletely formed idea of crashing her family’s whole night uninvited with “S! GET IN THE TRUCK! WE ARE GOING BALLOON CHASING!!!” we realized the balloon was rising again, and S wasn’t home anyway. Darn!

Oh, well. Maybe next time.

The best part of the whole deal was leaving to come home and having Ethan say, “My heart is beating so fast that I can’t even feel it beating!”

That excitement? Worth every second.

My Big One-Upper of the Week.

I have two Crock Pots, bitches.

TWO.

We’ll leave out the fact that I have two because one was in a trash bag for dust protection in the basement. I gave my typical perfunctory  look around for said Crock Pot and decided there was none, so I spent another Andrew Jackson (plus tax – and NO SHAME, I had to ask Greg which guy was on the $20 and yes, I homeschool my kids. It was a total brain fart and if you were to be honest you don’t know either AND goddammit, I didn’t have a twenty in my wallet at the time or I NEVER woulda asked or confessed NONE OF THIS).

Anyway. So yeah, the Crock Pot was like $19.99 at Target (minus 5% off for the RedCard and I may or may not have pulled a Cartwheel jack move ’cause we’re gangsta. Okay?).

So now I’m thinking I have GOT to be cooking in the Crock Pot(s) for, like, a whole week ahead of time, you know? I’mma be throwin’ it down. “Oh, you’ve got to leave this awesome super duper creek fun time play to go and cook dinner? MY dinner is already back at the homestead, yo. In fact, I made dinner COSTCO-STYLE in quantity, so what? Thug what?”

But so yeah. That’s my big one-upper of the week. I have two Crock Pots. W00t!