Nosebleed Emergency!

We were in the car and had just left Six Flags today when from the back seat I heard Ethan say, “Mom, I have a nosebleed!”

Actually, it wasn’t like that. My bad. See, Ethan gets nosebleeds with some regularity just like his daddy did as a kid. So it was more like, “Oh, look. Another nosebleed.”

You would think that because he gets these nosebleeds fairly often we would have a stash of paper goods in our rigs or my purse or our pockets or somewhere, right?


“Son, all I’ve got is a maxi pad. You want to use a maxi pad?”

“Uh, no.”

“Okay. Well, if it gets bad enough you need something, then you do what you gotta do. It’s here if you need it.”

A few moments later:

“Is it clean?”

“Of COURSE it is clean, Ethan. Come on!”

“Okay. Go ahead and give it to me.”

So I dug it out and handed it back to Laurel with instructions to help her little brother.

“Oh, weird! It’s sticky!”

“Yes, Ethan. That’s the adhesive. You do know what those pads are for, right?”

“YES.” (indignant)

Then:  Eruptions of little boy laughter.

“Mom, he’s waving it around all over.”

“Ethan, stop waving that around. Please.”

“HA HA HA HA! Look at this! Boop! Boop!”

“Mom, he’s sticking it on his face with the adhesive side and pulling his skin out with it.”

“Ethan, really. I have cars passing me and they have GOT to be wondering what is wrong with you.”

More little boy laughter. More waving of the Sanitary Napkin Flag.

“Actually, Laurel, here’s my phone. Take a picture of it. Maybe it’ll go viral.”

“NOOOOOOOOO! Wait, what does viral mean?”

“It means it will go all over the internet.”

“Will we make money?”

“Nope. But you’ll be famous!”

“Okay. Yeah, Laurel, take a picture!”

“Well move your hands to the side, then!”


And then at home: “Mom, can you e-mail the Mythbusters to ask them to test if a maxi pad will hold more blood than a paper towel?”

“It does, son. It does. Trust me.”

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