Many mothers would declare:
“He is just the very picture of childlike innocence and wonder! Don’t you think? He never gives me any trouble at all.”
They wouldn’t tell you how they went out and helped him build a snowman, upon which he placed a pretzel stick nose and pistachio eyes.*
Nor would those mothers mention that pretzel sticks and pistachio nuts are two of Vinnie’s favorite food groups.
They wouldn’t want you to know that Ethan, upset by Vinnie’s eyes-and-nose-eating mob hit, refused to simply replace the edibles with inedibles; he determined the only solution was to destroy the snowman.
Many mothers would never tell you he retrieved two (2!) shovels from the garage and calmly gouged, beheaded, and dismembered the snowman.
I am not one of those mothers.
*The snowman was initially going to be anatomically correct . Upon further reflection the construction crew found it did not care to manufacture an explanation to “the authorities” regarding the virtues of indecent snowman exposure.