WILMINGTON, N.C. – Well. Today was an interesting day.
The Family started the day in Charleston, where it was hot and muggy, though not nearly so hot and muggy as yesterday. Their first after-breakfast order of business was a family bike ride. Why? Because during Michelle’s sweltering run the day before, she saw some fun signs next to the boathouse that needed documenting:
Now folks, I don’t know about you, but this reporter doesn’t much care to go pedal-boating amongst the alligators. The Family agreed.
Unfortunately, what should have been a serene family bike ride was fraught with drama. Ethan whined and huffed whenever he was not leading the pack. Laurel got upset because everyone was ‘leaving her behind.’
This culminated in a Mother Talk inside the camper, much of which consisted of phrases such as, “I can referee you two at home, why should I have to do it on vacation? If that’s what you’re gonna make me do on vacation, why would I bother taking you on any more vacations?!” Greg was outside chillaxing in his chair, and as the kids exited the camper, he asked each child how the Talk went.
“Wonderful,” Laurel said.
“Not so good,” Ethan observed. “She was talking angry instead of nice.”
Soon our travelers were on their way to Wilmington, N.C. This too was not without its share of drama. The directions and GPS directed Greg to pull that camper (thirty feet!) through what for all appearances was a small downtown Charleston street. He did not want to do this. Michelle re-routed them, but it involved turning around, and HOLY HELL BROKE LOOSE. Greg was concerned about where the hell he would turn around with a 30-foot trailer, and his voice was rising along with his stress level; Michelle was indignant that he would think she hadn’t already considered that fact and planned accordingly, and her voice rose exponentially with her indignance.
After that particular hurricane, which consisted of such phrases as “fine, I’ll pull this fucking trailer, then!” and “I’ll just shut up until you calm down,” the truck was awfully silent for an hour or so.
Uh-oh, here comes Michelle.
“Now hold on just a minute. If you’re going to put that in there, you be sure and note that I know damn good and well not ONE of that blog’s readers has never had a spat like this, and they shouldn’t even PRETEND.”
Well, you heard the lady.
Anyway, that storm blew over and the family drove through Myrtle Beach. Their impression?
“Unimpressed,” said Michelle.
“Why do they have so many Pacific Beach stores when they’re right next to the Atlantic?” Greg asked.
“Do people actually come here on purpose?” Michelle added.
Finally they made it to Wilmington.
“This may be the best campground so far,” remarked Michelle. “There is a playground right behind the camper.”
Of course, they were not content to just hang around the camper and went downtown to visit a local brewery.
“They were out of everything interesting, the waitress flat-out sucked, but by golly, Greg got some shrimp and grits,” Michelle whispered. “As for me, I had a fried green tomato BLT because Greg doesn’t like tomatoes – he doesn’t know what’s good. Oh, and the beer didn’t hold a candle to Schlafly. We’ve clearly been spoiled.”
As for tomorrow, our Family is heading to the Outer Banks via barbecue. Tonight though, the kids are playing on the playground even though it’s dark while Michelle and Greg spend some time relaxing in camp chairs. Laurel even played giant chess with another camper.
“It’s not so hot here,” Greg said. “It’s really very nice and comfortable, and there is a lot to do in Wilmington that we just cannot tackle in one night…but it’s time to hit the real barbecue and the real beach.”