You’ve got a nice behind.
Aw, I love it when you open your awning like that.
I love your warm glow, your avocado green faux suede settee.
I love your refrigerator and freezer, your microwave, your stove, your multitudinous cabinets.
I can tell you’re going to make trouble. My children will fight over you. You will take most of the nature out of camping.
But wait – no more sore backs?
No more chilly late-night runs to the pit latrine?
I believe I could get used to you.
As an aside, I backed the trailer into the driveway right there. Me! I told Ethan he should be awfully proud to have a mother who can back a trailer. Can’t you hear the playground taunts?
“My mother is prettier than your mother!”
“Oh, yeah?! Well, my mother can BACK A TRAILER, FOOL!”
“Aw, geez. Okay. You win. That’s the coolest. You can have my lunch.”