I think this says it all:
Laurel: “Mom, why don’t we just get rid of taxes?”
Me: “Because if we didn’t pay taxes, we wouldn’t have services like ambulances, libraries, roads, fire departments, public schools…”
Laurel: “Oh, yeah. Good point.”
Ethan: “And we wouldn’t have lines on the roads, either!”
Me: “Well, true.”
Ethan: “Wouldn’t it be cool if we didn’t have to pay anything AND we still got to have all those things?”
Me: “Yeah. Yeah, it’d be cool. Good luck with that.”
Ethan tosses the cat in the Christmas tree.
Ethan jangles my nerves playing with noisy toys throughout the house.
Ethan repeatedly rides his trike across the vacuum cord despite my repeated warnings against doing so.
Ethan says, “I don’t care if you do” when I threaten to take something away because of bad behavior.
Ethan laughs maliciously at others’ misfortunes.
Ethan makes me run after him when he hurts himself because he’s running from the embarrassment.
Ethan whines that he’s hungry 10 minutes after a hearty breakfast.
Ethan interrupts. And interrupts.
Ethan ignores instructions. All of them. At least the first time.
Ethan causes so much damage to the walls of his room that makers of spackling paste are indebted to us.
Ethan refuses to cooperate with his swim teachers.
Ethan refuses to cooperate with his preschool teachers.
Ethan refuses to cooperate, period.
Ethan looks at me earnestly as I’m glancing over my shoulder backing the car and says, “Your eyes are beautiful, Mommy.”
Ethan: “Hey Mom, look at my pointy teeth!”
Michelle: “Nice, Ethan. Do you remember why you have pointy teeth?”
Ethan: “To eat meat!”
Michelle: “Yup. What’s your favorite kind of meat?”
-wait for it-
Ethan: “HORSE MEAT!!!!”
Ethan’s still making progress on his LEGO fireboat.
He’s done all of this himself:
This photo does not reflect it, but a few minutes before I took it he was using the instruction manual upside down. I turned it right-side-up for him, figuring he probably was placing components on the wrong side.
They were all correct.
Last week I took Ethan to the Science Center. We have been studying the solar system and dinosaurs in Mommy School. We spent the entire day there – or at least as long as we could. We dropped Laurel at school and didn’t leave until we had to go pick her up.
He loved every minute of it.
We wanted to watch a space show but alas, the projector was on the fritz. We watched an Omnimax presentation about life under the sea (narration by Jim Carrey, of all people). Ethan jumped every time a fish ate another fish.
He played with a flight simulator. The attendant told me they generally recommend them for ages 10 and up because younger kids get upset when they can’t fly the plane. Well, Ethan flew that plane. And he flew it. And flew it. It was time to go have lunch because we had event tickets for a certain time. After trying to get him to leave for several minutes, I said, “Hey, let’s see what happens if we push that stick ALL THE WAY FORWARD.” Well, a nosedive, of course. Ethan wasn’t able to pull up before crashing in the river. He was angry, it was of course all my fault, but by jove it got him out of there!
Naturally, we had to walk through Structures. I planned for this. I knew he would be compelled to stop. We built an arch. I had to help him with the last few pieces – it was just too tall. While he held the two #5 blocks in place (you’ll see them below), I dropped the capstone in.
“Whew,” I thought. “NOW we can go grab lunch.”
Nope. Ethan HAD TO HAD TO RIGHT NOW fix a truss bridge before going to lunch. We will leave nothing out of place, you know.
After lunch (he requested baby carrots with his sandwich – not chips!), we went to see the special Dinosaurs Unearthed exhibit. Ethan roamed about intimidating the dinosaurs. The photos aren’t so hot, but I got a few with Ethan and then took a few without the flash in an attempt to capture the lighting. The dinos were animatronic. Some were apparently on motion sensors; some had buttons to push. All of it was fascinating. Naturally, we blew through the whole thing in about 10 minutes. 4-year-olds aren’t big on reading the fine print at each dinosaur.
We had lots of fun, but we’ll be back as soon as they get that projector fixed for the space shows.
Here are the highlights. You know the drill, mouse over for commentary.
Waiter: “Something to drink sir?”
Greg: “A margarita on the rocks, please.”
Waiter: “And for you, ma’am?”
Michelle: “I’ll have the same.”
Waiter (looking to Laurel): “And I suppose a margarita for you, also?”
Last night we got a very rare opportunity to have just Laurel to ourselves. When this happens, we try to take her out for an enjoyable dinner somewhere.
She had a waiter whose sense of humor matched hers.
She got to talk to us without Ethan’s typical four-year-old interruption.
I think maybe she had a good time, too.
Ethan has taken to asking impossible questions – questions with no answers. For several days, he has been asking, “Mommy, what if the sun went out of orbit?” “That would be bad, Ethan, because almost all life on Earth depends on the sun. If there is no sun, there is no life.” Then he says, “But what if the sun and Earth both went out of orbit at the same time and fell down together?” To which I answer, “I don’t know, Ethan, nobody knows because it’s never happened.” To which he responds, “But what if it did?” And around and around we go.
So I would like to thank Greg for fielding one of these tonight:
Ethan: “What kind of vet did we get for Lou?”
Greg: “What do you mean?”
Ethan: “What kind of vet did we get for Lou?”
Greg: “We took him to the same vet as Vinnie.”
Ethan: “But what KIND of vet?”
Greg: “I don’t know what to tell you, Ethan. I don’t know what kind of vet.”
Ethan: “Argh! But WHAT KIND OF VET?”
Greg: “Argh! I don’t know! A SMALL ANIMAL VET!”
These are the times that try men’s souls.