Monthly Archives: February 2009

An Analogy.

Bobby Jindal : Barack Obama :: Milli Vanilli : Jack White.

 

Really, Republicans?  Bobby Jindal is the best you could do for the Republican response to tonight’s address? 

Wow.

Glad I’m not in your shoes.

Pachyderm Prejudice.

The scene:  Sunday morning. The whole family is at the grocery store. It’s a small grocery, where we are, and Ethan is riding in the cart, Greg’s pushing, I’m walking ahead, Laurel is doing whatever Laurel does at times like these…

…when suddenly, without provocation, Ethan breaks the relative quiet in a big way:

 

“FUCKIN’ ELEPHANTS!!!!!”

 

(blink)

 

On Sunday morning. In the grocery store.

Well, I guess at least the church people were still in church.

Vocabulary Words.

[screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech]

Ethan:  “What’s that?”

Me: “That school bus’s brakes.”

Ethan:  “Did they push the brakes to stop?”

Me:  “Yes.”

Ethan: “Now they will push the other brake to go.”

Me:  “No, they’ll push the accelerator to go.  Can you say that? Accelerator?”

Ethan:  ” ‘Cederator?”

Me:  “Yep.”

[pause]

[pause]

Ethan:  “That’s kinda hard to say.”

Me:  “Yeah, it is, isn’t it?”

Ethan:  “Yeah. Lydia couldn’t say that.”

Me:  “No, probably not.”

Ethan:  ” ‘Cause she’s too little to say that word.”

Me:  “Yeah. But you can say it, right?”

Ethan:  “Yeah. ‘Cause I’m a big boy.”

Me:  “Right.  Can you say it again?”

[pause]

Ethan:  “No.”  (sigh)  “I can’t.”

My Case for Nationalized Health Care.

One of the biggest complaints I hear when the subject of national health care comes up is that we’ll all have to wait a long time for an appointment.

Well, here is what I have heard in the past few days as I’ve desperately called around to doctor’s offices trying to get established as a new patient and to see a doctor for some issues I’m having:

“Oh, sorry, not accepting new patients.”

“Oh, we’re accepting new patients, but the first new patient appointment we have is in April.”

“Oh, sorry, we’re accepting new patients, but only those with other kinds of insurance. No new patients with BC/BS.”

That last one is a new one on me. I wonder how BC/BS would feel about that?

When are we, as patients, going to get sick of this and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT?  The way I see it, treatment under a reasonably well-developed national plan couldn’t possibly be worse than the discouragement I have experienced in the last couple of days with private insurance.

I’m Paying Attention.

I looked yesterday at the store and hated every single Valentine’s Day card on the rack. They have the singing ones with Toby Keith. They have the gaudy ones, which aren’t my style. The sleek and classy ones cost around $4. Four dollars for a piece of paper that gets thrown away.

No, that’s not good enough.  At least this way, maybe archive.org will hold onto it forever (except in the event of nuclear holocaust).

I’m not that big on the stereotypical Valentine’s Day stuff.  Roses, extravagantly priced for no other reason than that it’s This Day, are nice but don’t last.  Chocolate is delicious, and I’m always a fan, but I can have chocolate every day.

What matters to me is not that you show me on one day of the year that I’m important to you, but that you show me every single day with the little things you do. It’s that you empathize when I’m feeling marginalized by others. It’s that you ask for my advice on trivial things. It’s that you treat me as an equal partner in our marriage.  It’s that you thank me for cooking even when I’m lazy and feed everyone hot dogs with macaroni and cheese. It’s that you call me when you’re on your way home just to let me know you’ll be here soon. It’s that you help so much with the kids. It’s that you give all of yourself to help me without expecting anything in return. I don’t acknowledge all these little things (and sometimes big things) as much as I should, but I promise I’m paying attention.

Life isn’t always perfect, but it’s indescribably better with you because you’re always on my side.  I love you, Greg. Happy Valentine’s Day, and here’s to many, many more.

Laurel-isms, Part XXV.

Laurel:  “Mom, the kids were making fun of me because I don’t know what Bokugan is.”

Me:  “Uh…okay, what IS Bokugan?”

Laurel:  “It’s like Pokemon, kind of.”

Me:  “Laurel, you may not know what the current 4th grade fad is, because you don’t watch the kinds of TV shows on which those money-grubbing fad-dealers advertise, but you could go to the high school and talk pop culture — especially music — and hold your own with any senior. I don’t know many 4th grade kids who know the White Stripes or Raconteurs or Flobots or Beatles or System of a Down or Fratellis.”

Laurel:  “Yeah, plus I know a little more about sex than most kids my age.”

Me:  “Uh, yeah, anyway…So if the kids make fun of you because you don’t know what Bokugan is or you don’t have Bokugan…”

Laurel:  “I’ll just tell ’em it’s because I’m too punk rock.”

Me:  “There you go.”

If Laurel Were a Caterer…

She’d work for Charm City Cakes (unfamiliar with the Ace of Cakes? See video below):

Laurel as caterer

This is for a birthday party she’s attending — it’s a murder mystery theme, she’s the caterer, and was to dress the part.  I have no aprons or anything like that, so a friend and I developed the idea of a tool belt for her necessities (well, okay, maybe most caterers don’t carry potato mashers, but that’s the only implement that fit the hammer loop without falling out).

And here, for the uninitiated, is the Ace of Cakes video:

With Laurel’s freestyle sense of creativity and sense of humor, I think she’d be an excellent fit.