Monthly Archives: April 2007

Laurel-isms, Part XI.

In conversation about the Lost City of Atlantis at the dinner table:

Me:  "You can Google it, if it's not blocked."

Laurel:  "Gah, I hate SonicWALL!  I hate that it blocks everything!!!"


(poor kid's getting an early lesson about The Man).

Birthday Celebration!

Grandma Smith turned 75 on Saturday, so we took her out to celebrate.  I made a somewhat lopsided German chocolate cake from scratch.  It may not have looked beautiful, but it certainly tasted good.

We realized we had no photos of Grandma with the grandkids and great-grandkids, so we took one.  Voila!

Happy birthday, Grandma Smith.  Thank you for everything you do for us!

How Fartsome is Fartsome?

Remember this post?

As I mentioned, I've adopted the word 'fartsome' because I think it's just brilliant.  Today, Laurel and I had a conversation that went something like this:

Me:  (singing) "Ohhhhh, Laurel's fartsome, she's fartsome, she's fartsome all the way…"

Laurel:  "Why do you say I'm fartsome?"

Me:  "Because you are."

Laurel:  "You're more fartsome than I am."

Me:  "Your fartsomeness knows no bounds."

Laurel:  "Your fartsomeness goes on forever, whereas my fartsomeness stops at 2."

Me:  (stunned silence, because a) she's 7 and used 'whereas' correctly, and b) she clearly won — she obviously knows the different levels of fartsomeness, and I remain ignorant)

As you can see, I love having nonsensical conversations with kids.  Sometimes you learn more about them that way.

Cruelty to Children.

It's been a traumatic morning for the youngest of the family.

First, the Tyrants in Charge of the Household subjected him to a haircut, the atrocity of which was only temporarily lessened by the presence of a lollipop:


Next, Big Daddy Tyrant tested the smoke detectors in the house, leading to the following results:


As you can see from the above photos, our smoke detectors are fully functional.

I'm afraid our boy is going to become a defector from this family.

(sorry the photos are blurry — haircut photos were taken w/ Greg's fancy new phone, the others were taken in a big rush to capture the action, of course)

Miscellany, Part Deux (or so).

  • Could someone please explain to me how it is that after a weekend of eating ribs, big fat burgers, fries, cheesecake, half a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos and a LOT of chocolate, plus drinking plenty of beer, I managed to LOSE a pound?  I'm beginning to think our fancy-schmancy state-of-the-art scale is just a random number generator.
  • If you want to see funny and you're a fan of The Office, take a look at this.
  • There are these funny awards going around called 'Thinking Blogger' awards, and all these bloggers are getting all excited to read them.  But kudos to Looky, Daddy! who points out in this post that it's all a big chain letter.  Besides, who's to prevent me from just stealing the logo and putting it up?  Please note:  This blog is not a 'thinking blog' and has no aspirations to become such.

Growth Spurts and Super Kids.

I think I sense a growth spurt coming on.  For the last couple of days, Ethan has been really cranky, sleeping a lot and eating a lot.

Yesterday he had his first White Castle burger, which was left over from the Laurel / Greg trip that made breaking news earlier this week.  I know, I couldn't believe there was anything left either, considering how Laurel scarfed them down:

Then this morning he stuffed his cheeks so full of apples and toast at the same time that he looked like a chipmunk:

On top of all that, we have an increase in tantrums and he keeps trying to say something over and over which sounds like 'in cook' but Laurel feels is 'egg yolk.'

I think our only hope to get us through this patch is Super Laurel:

Well, judging by my fragrant surroundings, that White Castle burger has just worked its way out of Ethan's system, so I need to go deal with that now. Awesome.

Yes, I Confess, I Obsess.

I have a planning preoccupation.


Little wonder, then, that in Greg's anniversary card to me he wrote, "I would be lost without you . . ."


. . . and then when I gushed about it he responded, "It's true — I would be lost without you — you have all the maps."


Memphis, Day Three.

We wrapped up our trip to Memphis beginning with a lunchtime visit to an outstanding barbecue joint called the Bar-B-Q Shop.  No roosters crowing here, but they make a mean pulled pork sandwich.  Greg had the ribs which were also very good, but not as good as the ones he makes at home!

Afterwards we hit the legendary Sun Studio, home of the famous recordings of Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, and Carl Perkins, just to name a few.  One of the most famous photos of this quartet was taken here, and if you'll look closely you'll see the tiles on the walls are still the same:


It was really something to see the original door those guys walked into when looking to be discovered.  Wow.

We wound down our day with a daytime visit to Beale Street for shopping…

…and then a trip to the Peabody Hotel to visit the Peabody Ducks and their palace on the rooftop — we didn't stay to watch the daily duck march.  We figured we can see ducks walking around anytime:


Finally, we made a visit to the Big Foot Lodge, where they have a FOUR POUND burger.  If you eat the burger within an hour you get it for free — as well you should.  We didn't try it, but we saw someone else who did.  Most of the burger was left.  It seems that only 1 person has managed this feat, but he was a competitive eater, so what are you going to do?

That pretty much sums up our Memphis trip.  We had a great time, and feel like we saw everything there was to see — we weren't interested in Graceland, I've already been twice. 

Now I just have to work off all the good food!

Memphis, Day Two.

See how happy we were to be in Memphis?   

Clearly we recovered nicely from the previous evening.

Not to be outdone by the festivities of Day 1, we awoke early on Day 2 to visit the National Civil Rights Museum, located in the motel where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated.  It was eerie to be visiting when we did — he was shot April 4, 1968, and we visited on April 6. 

Memphis has a really nice little trolley system downtown which allowed us to hop the trolley right outside our hotel and ride down Main Street, alighting directly in front of the Museum.  The trolleys are absolutely gorgeous, especially inside:


Due to copyright issues, the Civil Rights Museum does not allow any photography indoors, but I took what is probably the best photo of the entire trip outside the museum:

It was more than a little sad to see the location where one of the greatest men of the Civil Rights movement died.  Very somber.  Really very tragic.



We weren't in Memphis to dwell on tragedy, and Greg and I have never even been to the St. Louis casinos, so we sallied forth to Tunica, Mississippi: 

Tunica, well, it's got a lot of casinos.  We thought we'd give the Horseshoe a shot:


And you know what?  We will never return.

[begin tangential tirade] We don't get it.  What is the purpose of slot machines?  Greg and I went and wrassled the one-arm bandits, blowing about $15 each before finally deciding it was just plain stupid.  Such mindless action!  I mean, c'mon, where is the fun in putting your money in a machine, hitting a button, and watching it go away?  I mean, yipee, right?  We are not morally against slot machines — do whatever blows your hair back — but we are societally against it.  Slot machines are nothing but a stupid person's tax.  You've got to be a real knuckle-dragger to get a charge out of them. And don't even get me started on the lottery. [end tangential tirade]

After leaving the casino, I remarked to Greg how absolutely awful it would be if one of us had fallen in love with casinos and the other hated it.  See, there's yet another reason I'm glad I married him.

So, seeing as how we were less than enamored by the casinos, we did what every red-blooded American does.  WE WENT SHOPPING.  Just across Hwy 61 from the casinos is a big old factory outlet mall, and we totally scored on clothes for Ethan and Greg — so I guess Tunica wasn't a complete bust.  Still, we were thrilled to head back north and couldn't get to Memphis fast enough.

After returning from Tunica we had dinner at Huey's, known in Memphis for having the best burgers in town.  And you know, they were pretty damn good.  I don't know if they can measure up to Greg's burgers, though.  I really don't. 

That evening we decided to just get a bunch of chocolate from Walgreen's near the hotel and take it easy.  I'm too old these days for several successive nights of partying in a row.  Whew!

One more day in Memphis — just keep the dial right here.

Breaking News.

We now interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging for this announcement:

Greg and Laurel just got back from lunch at White Castle, where Laurel ate SIX White Castles, beating Greg out by one.  When asked, Greg maintained that if it had been an out-and-out eating competition, he could have eaten more.  He claimed that, by holding back, he was trying to avoid being "ridiculous."  Witnesses, however, remain dubious.  "I just don't know how he was stomped into the mud by a 7-year-old girl, but it's a little too late for excuses," observed one family member. 

Now back to your regularly scheduled blogging.